radsturbate:

marry someone who has a different favorite cereal than u so they wont eat all of urs

hungarian:

if i worked at a sperm bank, every time some guy walked in i’d say things like get a load of this guy

communistbakery:

I write sins not cosines or tangents

sincerely-steeny:

galifianafuck:

when you write a sentence and it rhymes

image

why does the picture make perfect sense

Anonymous whispered: what drugs have you done

h0odrich:

nice try mom

sarahcosima:

euo:

My main dilemma when I see a pretty girl is am I jealous of her or attracted to her? Do I want to be her or date her?

#wife goals or life goals

conflicting:

i hate being tickled i do not think it is cute i do not think it is funny i will kick you in the fucking face

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